Smarsaurous: An Introduction and a Rant

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Hello!  Welcome to my humble articles about video games and tabletop gaming.  I suppose I should introduce myself some before asking you to continue reading this.  I am known by two names around the internet, here I am to be known as smarsaurous, however you may know me as hetero_phobe.  For those of you who do not know me at all, I will shed a little light on the situation.  Yes, I am a female, and yes I truly do enjoy video games.  My mother was the one that got me started at around the age of four with Tetris, Mario, Sesame Street, and Zelda.  Now I know what you are thinking, “How can a four year old play Zelda?”   Secret is, I just hit buttons and hoped for the best.  The game I was really good at was of course, Sesame Street. What? I was four years old. 

As I grew up, my mom and I continued to crave anything Nintendo, particularly Zelda.  However, as we all grew together, my mom began to get worse at Zelda games (too many buttons she claims), and I began to beat them with ease.  Recently, I have been anticipating Skyward Sword, though not as much as I had been the past games.  Something about Nintendo and the Zelda franchise had been bothering me.  Everything was getting too easy.  I mean I am good at Zelda, but I am not SO good that I should be able to beat Twilight Princess in a sitting or two without a guide.

Well, as if the goddesses of Hyrule had heard my plea for a challenge, they killed my Wii.  I decided to play A Link to the Past on the virtual console, craving the challenges from that era of gaming until it was time for a little Windwaker with my boyfriend since we had been doing a marathon of Zelda games.  After hitting the home key to return to the main menu, a rather annoying buzzing hit my ears and my eyes saw fuzzy lines of death on the screen.  My boyfriend assured me that my Wii had just overheated, so we let it rest, yet every time we tried to turn it back on, the same thing happened.

Finally, we broke down and called Nintendo’s tech support line.  After my boyfriend calmly talked to the man on the other end, it was decided, dead as a doornail.  In fact, the tech guy did not even know what happened to it.  Apparently it has been happening to a lot of launch date Wiis and mine being one of the first 6000 had succumbed to the same fate.  It would be $100+ for me to send it in and get it fixed or replaced within a month, but I would get a nice one year warranty in case it died again.  Wait a minute…back up please. ONE YEAR?!  Seems as though Nintendo had found a way to disappoint me.  But not because my repaired Wii would get just one year, but because EVERY Wii only gets a one year warranty - new or not.  Who has heard of any sort of technology that only has a year manufacturer warranty?  Or for that matter, just a year period?  Yes, yes cell phones, but they change daily, you cannot cover that.

I understand even with two years I would be grossly out of warranty, but I was just so shocked I cried.  My Wii was dead and now Nintendo had just dug the knife a little deeper.  After much debate and consideration, about 10 seconds, I decided I had heard enough and kindly refused service since I could get one by walking up to my local GameStop that day for roughly the same price. Will I get another one?  Of course, I am a diehard fan-girl. Will I be buying any extended warranty I am offered?  Again, of course.  All I am asking now from the goddesses of Hyrule and Nintendo alike is, please, please let Skyward Sword be worth it.

In reality, I doubt I will enjoy a Zelda game as much as I enjoyed Link’s Awakening, or A Link to the Past, or Ocarina of Time (I know that is a lot to like).  Yet, who could really blame me.  I grew up on Zelda, and as of TGS’ happenings, I can say I will probably be disappointed once again.  An upgrade system?  Wandering around collecting specific items so that I am able to carry a few more Deku Seeds in my bottomless bag of stuff is not what I call a Zelda game.  Playing up to one hundred hours of Zelda is also something that does not sit well with me.  Sure, without guides or cheat codes a Zelda game can run quite long if you are looking to be a perfectionist.  However, I am not.  Will I get the same length of game play time as those who do take the time to upgrade every single item to its max, collect every heart piece and whatever else have you in this game?  I do not know, but what I am sure of is… If I wanted to play World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy, I would play those games.  Do not add their formula to Zelda games.

If you are looking forward to these changes, more power to you.  Even I am glad the repetitive nature of talking to some people, traveling across the land, going to a dungeon, and then do it all again will be ditched in some way.  However, from what I have heard they are just replacing it with “Oooooh Silent Realm” and lather, rinse, repeat.  I suppose that these changes may make the game more enjoyable, but I am still wary. Very, very wary.

Now that you know a little about me, and what I hope you now see as my favorite video game saga, I shall take my leave!  I also hope this introduction has enticed you to come back and continue reading.  I promise my next article will not be so ranty.

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