Thanksgiving is a holiday for reflection – a day when we look at life and ruminate on what we’re most appreciative of … all while chowing down on a massive turkey leg. This mix of introspection and gluttony always brings me back to video games and the health system integrated into many of them. We find a random piece of food lying about which we then cram down our protagonist’s maw in a moment of desperation – and, therefore, are thankful that he/she does not keel over … for the time being.
In honor of the holiday, I’ve decided to celebrate this lunacy and create a list of the best food power-ups I’d have at my Thanksgiving dinner. Does your list differ? If so, what would you add to our nerdy feast?
1. Turkey (Streets of Rage) – You find whole turkeys just lying on the ground in this classic beat-em’-up. Not only that; but you can punch things and turkeys fall out! Beautiful dishes of turkey! This universe is awesome! I wish I could just knock over a barrel and find a roasted bird waiting for me. Kickass.
2. Nuka Cola Quantum (Fallout 3) – This cola is like regular Nuka Cola … with a few exceptions. It has twice the calories, twice the carbs, twice the caffeine, and twice the taste! It also has a MILD radioactive isotope (responsible for its eerie blue glow) that gives the drinker an extra boost of energy; but also makes their urine glow! I couldn’t think of a better drink to offer up at my Thanksgiving table.
3. The Pretzel (Pac-Man) – Some Thanksgiving tables have rolls … mine will have that damned pretzel from Pac-Man. In the game, fruit bounces around the pellet-filled maze, offering additional points to our circular hero. However, once-in-a-while, their doughy delight will pop up and break the trend.
4. Cake (Minecraft) – They’re a bitch to make. More trouble than they’re worth, really. Yet, we all still make them, don’t we? There’s something uniquely charming about the cakes in Minecraft despite their practicality. Whether used as a decoration, a gift to friends, or an actual food resource; this is one food I wouldn’t mind having on my table this holiday.
5. Cream Puffs (Cooking Mama) – I can crack an egg in this game. Not only that; but I can crack it perfectly on the first try. Apparently, this is a talent and one I relish in; especially as I prepare these little morsels of creamy deliciousness. The care that goes into carefully making each puff always made them a favorite recipe of mine to play through. They’d be an amazing addition to any meal table.
6. Super Meat Boy (Super Meat Boy) – Yeah, I’d roast and cook this little guy. He’s meat. I’m not a vegetarian. So sue me. I’ll pass on Bandage Girl, though.
7. Chechnya Vodka (Bioshock 2) – It just isn’t a holiday without a shot of vodka. Fortunately for us, Andrew Ryan foresaw this before he built his city under the sea. In fact, he brought just about every liquor imaginable with him and you run across bottles upon bottles throughout the games. Still, vodka is my pick of poisons and this looks like some good stuff. Gobble gobble!