Welcome to the Gotham City Impostors Beta!

Thank you [initiate’s name] for joining the [Bats/Jokers]! You’ll be happy to know that you are joining one of Gotham’s most illustrious groups, tasked with upholding the beliefs of our specific patron’s ideology regardless of their consent! With us, you’ll have access to some of the finest equipment a blue collar wage can afford including military grade assault rifles and explosive ordinance constructed from ordinary household chemicals and cleaners!

As the new meat on the block, you might be wondering how to make the best use of your time here as we test and prep for the actual war. You have a limited number of options during our opening skirmishes, known by nerds as a beta. We just want to let you know that the veterans here at the [Bats/Jokers] want to guide your rifle so that you can better slaughter our wannabe foes!

Gather ideas from your predecessors! It’s not stealing because it’s not copyrighted!

Unlike certain military buffs who pride themselves on so-called aesthetics like air support, gun sway, or social interaction (HA! Who needs that?), our default classes are easy to understand and capable under a variety of situations.

For example, the Striker is the work horse’s load out, affording you weapons that are flexible to any situation without sacrificing the technological advancements of our homemade grapple gun! If you want to get creative, the Scout lets you use the ninja smoke bombs to flank the enemy and hit them with a silenced SMG and shurikens, all in the dainty but agile bodies of our 1989 champion gymnastists!

After you familiarize yourself with the wide array of gadgets and weapons in our default loads, you should commit to spending your unlock keys to tailoring a unique load out to reflect your favorite approach to sticking it to those annoying [Bats/Jokers]. Maybe you’d prefer a hunting bow and hatchet to your ninja class? Maybe spring shoes sound like a better fit for your gravity defying, muscle man bombardier?

You will quickly hit the level cap of 25 during our beta skirmish and once you’re there, there will be no way to open up anymore new gear until open season actually begins. So don’t take those unlock keys for granted! They’re precious during the beta!

Choose your gadgets carefully because there is no warranty plan!

Your choice in gadgets often times dictate how you navigate the map and your enemies. While your playstyle will further be augmented by your weapon and body size, your gadgets will act as your primary method of crossing the map.

The grapple gun for example can take you to the high ground quickly, and as Obi-Wan Kenobi once taught us, the high ground is important!

The glider rig allows you to cover enormous distances quickly from the sky, but requires trampolines or air vents to being using.

Meanwhile,the targeting goggles give you a huge tactical advantage of seeing enemies through walls. Without a grapple gun or roller skates though, your mobility will be hampered in comparison to others who may be in possession in larger quantities of a resource known in the scientific rap community as swag.

Learn the maps because getting lost isn’t cool kids!

So you’ve chosen a glider rig and expect to take to the skies to dive bomb your mortal enemies? First you’ll need to find an air vent to get started!

Now you just to realize where the enemy is going!

But it looks like none of your friends are using targeting goggles.

Learning maps is integral to your journey from initiate to super initiate. As there are only two maps during the beta, this shouldn’t be too hard. Still, it doesn’t hurt to picture a theoretical heat map of where all the action happens and how to get there.

For example, it’s possible to move from one side of Crime Alley to the other in one glider rig trip by knowing where the air vents are positioned. How about that the short path on Amusement Mile from flag 1 and flag 2 is at times, one of the most hotly contested areas int he entire map. One well timed explosive here can lead to a big multi-kill!

Map knowledge isn’t just routes and placement though. With the grapple gun or spring shoes, there are all sorts of nooks and crannies to discover as overwatch positions and sniping perches. Knowing the lay of the land is both horizontal and vetical!

We are legally obligated to tell you to have fun and take it easy!

Maybe you think ninja smoke bombs are overpowered or the thunder dragon bazooka is too nooby. But just remember that all the tools in Gotham City are purposely wacky and over the top.

We are normal men and women, emulating people who are paragons of something we are sure are important for some reason or another. If you think somebody abusing the ninja smoke bomb is being a jerk, remember that they aren’t perfectly invisible and that our brand of pump action shotgun is labeled the persuader for a reason.

Do you think an enemy is using the targeting goggles a bit too effectively? People listed with a fun fact called wallflower are effectively invisible to all forms of radar detection. Slap on that neat-o fun name tag that says wallflower, get in their grill while they’re using those stupid looking goggles, and tell them, “I believe you should stop using those tools,” before unloading so much lead into their mouth, their orthodontist will bill them.

Hopefully you can be the 1% to offset our 99% mortality rate here on the mean streets of Gotham City. Remember no matter what names you get called, like demented, psychotic, insane, or unstable, we are much more than just a simple ragtag group of devotees with irrational loyalty. We are the Gotham City Impostors!

striderhoang (20 Posts)

One day in 1994, a child traveled to Fresno to visit his relatives when, on his birthday, he was given a Sega Genesis. Thus started a chain reaction that began a life of video gaming and skyrocketing oil prices (probably). In all seriousness, Strider has been reading video game journalism for the better part of 17 years of his life and what does he have to show for it? A BA in journalism and contributed articles everywhere from Bitmob to Destructoid. Currently looking for his dream writing job.