Punky’s Movie Experiment- The Adventures of Thunderstorm: Return of Thor

Before we take our journey into this film, take a few minutes and watch this intro video:

Now let’s move on to the review…

thunderstorm return of thor

 

Suggested by: @GaboMD

This film was suggested by my brother who is a bigger superhero fan than me. He only watched the first 30 minutes, so it is my duty to finish what he couldn’t. 

Let’s get right into the story because there’s a lot to talk about! It’s a 2011 Canadian film about a group of crazy religious zealots trying to wake Ragnarok and bring the end of the world. So Thor who is too busy to deal with Earth’s bull crap, sends some of his powers to his great great great grandson named Grant who works on a Military research lab run by him and his best friend (seems like if they were more employees in this facility, they were ghosts) Lucky for them, they were working on a Iron Man Ripoff suit that helps Grant control his new powers. And even luckier because they made a Foam hammer that can be used as a weapon. Just like grandpa Thor.

"Next Halloween is going to Rock, man! All we need is a pair of legs and a neck!"

“Next Halloween is going to Rock, man! All we need is a pair of legs and a neck!”

 

Now Thunderstorm joins forces with obviously-Love-interest police officer to try and stop the evil gang before it’s too late. Also one of his amazing super powers is cooking Hotdogs with his hands. I guess Thor threw that one as an extra.

Thunderstorm! Saving the World one Hotdog at a time.

Thunderstorm! Saving the World one Hotdog at a time.

 

Thoughts: They are no words to describe this piece of… cinema. If you think Birdemic or The Room are bad, then you’ve never seen this movie. I took so many screenshot because my words will never bring justice to what I witnessed. For example:

Apple has a lawsuit on their hands.

Apple has a lawsuit on their hands.

 

This is supposed to be Asgard… and the image on the left is Odin and the one on the right is Thor. First thing in my mind was “That’s a Macbook desktop wallpaper!”, of course, this is a very low budget film but i’m sure someone from the crew has a nice backyard with at least a nice treehouse to make this scene a little more “Asgardian”. The special effects on this movie are as if they used iMovie and Windows Movie Maker with a little bit of Final Cut Express. Here comes another great example:

 

"Shoot at my head all you want. But please don't ruin the suit"- @Mikeyeddy

“Shoot at my head all you want. But please don’t ruin the suit”- @Mikeyeddy

In this scene, that man gets a headshot just for the heck of it and I can honesty tell you that I had to re watch that scene 4 times because I couldn’t stop laughing at how “realistic” this look. Also this is supposed to be a museum were there’s a chair for each painting but since they were against the wall, if you wanted to see the painting, you had to get up and look back, so my guess is that they filmed this in a doctor’s office and they didn’t let them move the chairs.

Moving on to the characters and the script. for most of the movie I couldn’t find a likable character or someone that at least was interesting, until the end of second act were the gang brings to life Hel, the sister of Ragnarok.

 

"Hot flashes do nothing on me!!'

“Hot flashes do nothing on me!!’

 

Hel in various mythologies, is referred as the daughter of Loki and one that pretty much follows her father’s footsteps. When someone says “go to Hell” they’re pretty much telling you to get ass raped with a flagpole by her. Now, I love Loki because he’s a very smart and very evil that is really interesting because of his background, in both the comics and in greek mythology. If I judge this Hel as if she’s really Loki’s daughter (he’s never mentioned in the movie by the way, so I don’t know if they count her as her daughter or not) I’ll say she’s the dumb daughter of Loki because i’ve never seen a villain get killed so easily ever. I’ve seen better fights on Jerry Springer! The actress who plays her really had fun playing her and I think she’s the best actress of this movie, even if she was super cartoony and goofy.  The rest of the characters I already forgotten because of how awful they are.

What I think it’s the best thing about the movie is Ragnarok which i’m almost sure it came from a Genesis or SNES game, because there’s no way someone in 2011 design this exclusively for this film. Just look at this and tell me when was the last time you’ve seen such an awfully made “CGI”

 

"Magikarp use Splash. It's super effective!"

“Magikarp use Splash. It’s super effective!”

 

I’ve seen very good and very bad low budget films, but this one wins the medal for one of the worst i’ve seen in a very long time. Awful script, the direction looks sloppy, the music seems like they got it from behind a Mexican restaurant’s trash bins in Ontario and let’s not talk about the special effects again. Even the voiceovers sound like they recorded inside a can of Chicken Noodle Soup. Oh and the bloody murders, let’s not talk about that.

 

"Call the Canadian Ambulance!! We have another death by Ketchup!"

“Call the Canadian Ambulance!! We have another death by Ketchup!”

 

Also, “Return of Thor”? He’s in the movie for 3 minutes and it’s just that blurry picture of him with a voiceover played by the Writer, Director and FIlm Editor of this film Brett Kelly. Last time we saw a man working as producer, director, writer and lead role, we got The Room. That’s all i’m saying.

 

Would I recommend this movie?: If you like super hero films, do yourself a favor and stay away from this. Unless you have a wicked mind like mine and love bad movies like Birdemic, then this is for you!

 

Thumb up or Down: All the way down, You puny humans!!

 

Now that you unleashed the wrath of Punky, you better send me some suggestions either on the comment section or via Twitter!

‘Till Next time!

Punky (11 Posts)

An Elvish Timelord from a galaxy far away who do way too many things at the same time. Her love for films, TV shows and video games have transform her an expert procrastinator.